As promised, a list of cons for marrying late in life is here! After writing about the pros and the cons, I must say that the pros definitely outweigh the cons!
• We’ll have no children of our own. That biological clock of mine blew up over 10 years ago! In my thirties, I had some desire to have children, but my stronger desire has always been for a godly husband. I remember back then, when I talked about marriage and children, people always said to me, “You can always have a baby on your own.” I always responded with, “I would rather have a husband.” I received great satisfaction from being a teacher for 25 years. I was surrounded by children, and the great thing was, I could release them from my care at 2:30 in the afternoon!
• As we age, we become set in our ways. Why Tim does things the way he does, or why I do the things I do, is sometimes a mystery to each of us. We’ve heard this advice before: “Don’t say to each other ‘that is just the way I am’.” I think that is code for don’t be stuck in your ways. We have made much progress on that front in our marriage. We can always learn and grow from observing each other, and seeing that those “set ways” either need to change or they are just fine the way they are. Another piece of advice comes to mind: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• We make decisions together. This isn’t a con per se, but it has taken some adjustment to remember that we both have a say-so in making decisions as a married couple. I am still learning to consult with Tim on significant matters that affect both of us.
• Baggage from our past may interfere with our relationship. There may have been factors in our upbringing or early adult life that skew our thinking. We bring our past with us, and that can cause conflict and insecurity at times, and can negatively influence how we view and relate to our spouse. Past mistakes have consequences; there is no way around that. And we’ve all made mistakes. Forgiveness of self and others is important. And resolving to move on and not rehash past mistakes will help strengthen our relationship.
• We haven’t had the benefit of a long history with each other’s family. My brother has been married since he was 22 and his in-laws are just like parents to him since they have known and grown together for 25 years (longer than he lived at home!). Tim’s mom and I hit it off from the get-go, but distance, work schedules, and illness shortened our time together. Thankfully, Frannie witnessed our wedding before she passed away only 19 months after that special day.
Those cons are a small price to pay for finding the man of my dreams! I am sure I will add to the pros list as time goes on. What about you? What are the pros and cons of marrying at the age you did? We would love to hear from you.